One of the realisations I had, was that the world is constantly giving me guidance, if I am simply open enough to perceive it. This guidance is very much to do with the current challenges in my life, and is interpreted in the same way as dreams.
The following experience, which was reinforced by a dream, is an example of this.
Today while driving home, I passed a woman working on her car, an old VW Beetle broken down on my right as I go on to the highway. Not being wide- awake, but indecisive, I could not stop in time and decided to go on the next off-ramp and come around. So I did, and the car wasn't there. I then accelerated onto the highway and passed the woman and her car on my left (she'd moved it somewhere safer). And of course being wide-awake as I was, I was traveling too fast to stop close by, but there were a couple of other vehicles stopped, so I gave up and carried on.
I needed to do some shopping before going home, I parked at the shopping center and the parking space I found was just to the right of an old VW Beetle.
So I have to ask myself what did I miss by not being in the moment!
Later on the way home (down another highway), I passed a truck parked in the emergency lane on the left, that seemed to have partially lost its load of pipes. A few kilometers further along, there were bags of cement all over the road and another truck in the emergency lane, which had lost part of its load.
I am still not certain that I truly understand the import of this message but this is what I felt at the time:
I know that I feel overloaded at work (or rather that I am overloading myself)
I must be missing a tremendous amount in the direction I am taking
I am still to much in my head, because the
signals' were always to my left (except for the initial one) I'm still too busytrying' rather than just being wide-awake!
I also have to ask myself in what ways I am excluding the female from my awareness.
At about the same time, I had the following dream:
"I am sitting in a house with a bunch of people. It feels like family and friends. It also seems like my children are there. The house is in a big open plot of ground. I walk outside through a doorway to the north with my son. As I'm walking in the garden I see a road in the distance that I know. It runs east west and is north of me by about 500m.
I also see three black figures in the bushes by the side of the road ahead of a truck traveling west. As the truck passes the bushes, one of the figures throws a grenade (I know it's a grenade) into the truck. The truck drives on, and I see a small red explosion followed by a brilliant white explosion and the truck bursts into flames and veers off the road.
I call the police. The next morning the police come around and question me. They are asking me from where I saw the truck. I walk along the fence on the edge of the garden. Too far to the east - it feels wrong and I can't quite get the right perspective of the road.
I walk back westward too far. Still doesn't feel right, so I walk back east and find the spot. The policemen are following me all this time, measuring the distance from the west end of the garden opposite where the truck exploded to where I was standing watching the truck explode."
Looking first at my experience with the car, my overall feeling was that power was telling me: "Wake-up you're missing something". This, I know, sets the scene, while the remainder of the experience fills in the detail.
1: The woman & car represent awareness of the female - so I'm looking in the wrong direction, or rather resorting to my rational mind first, before looking for the feeling. What I should be doing is to work with the feeling first and then use the rational mind to sort out the practicalities.
2: Even when I went round a second time I still missed the car because I was looking in the wrong place. My perception was still stuck in one view of the world, rather than being fluid.
3: Although I did drive around again my feeling is that I was 'trying,' and that my heart wasn't in it - hence I missed the opportunity a second time around.
4: The trucks represent my general awareness/view of the world and their loads are the building blocks of the common view of the world/social conditioning. So I may have lost SOME of the building blocks of my social conditioning but it is still hampering my progress, and I am allowing myself to be distracted by the changes rather than flowing with them.
For me, the overall feeling of the dream also emphasises the need to be wide awake.
By walking outside the house (view of the world), I took an action (going North) that created the possibility/opportunity for freedom. But I am afraid of this freedom, of taking the gap to freedom (probably because I don't want to give up/fear losing my children, my 'life', 'self-image').
The practical action I took (walking in the garden), increased my awareness of the need for freedom & change (500 = 5) through erasing my personal history (the road going West) and the need to take action & not-doing (facing North).
The 3 black figures represent the Dreamer / Totality of the self / unknown and mixed abundance. So my dreamer/spirit is waiting for me to take action, and if I don't then I will be ambushed by power. Also the ambush indicates that I should be wide awake and ready for anything.
I need to fight/take action (the red explosion) creatively & joyously and this will mean mixed abundance (the 3 figures), and in the midst of the destruction/death of my old view of the world I will find peace (the white explosion).
But the dream indicates that I fear the destruction/changes - fear of loss. And I should also be aware of self-pity/feeling victimised and trying to cling to my old view, which I left behind by going outside, and stop sitting on the fence.
"Too far to the East" indicates that I need to work more with feeling than with sobriety, (or rather start with feeling and then turn to sobriety). I also need to watch for old habits of comparing/measuring myself against others and what I 'think' I SHOULD have achieved, and indulging in self-importance.
Overall, the very strong messages for me in these experiences is to take immediate action based on my feelings, and to remain wide awake.