Abuse, ARTICLE ON from Warriors' Journeys


  • Abuse, ARTICLE ON

Violence is so very prevalent in the world today, and so is the incidence of abuse - especially in children. In learning to handle this, it is very important for people to gain for themselves the clarity to move forward, rather than continually feeling bad about themselves.

In looking for this clarity, the first point to note is that the fact that we call forth our challenges in life does NOT mean that we are bad. It simply means that at a deep level we have a lesson to learn. In the case of children the challenge has more than likely been set up by their Dreamer because it is important for them to learn something specific.

This sort of challenge is more in the nature of a life challenge, in which the reasons may only become clear at some point in the future, IF they ever become clear at all. Therefore it does not help to engage in speculation upon the possible reasons.

Rather than focusing on WHY this happened, try shifting the focus to look at WHAT we have learned as a result of this challenge, about ourselves, about the world, and at what qualities we have been forced to bring out in ourselves as a result of having to deal with this challenge. If we can do this, then we will start to gain a measure of objectivity and freedom.

In this, it may be helpful to picture oneself as an old lady/old man, looking back upon one's life, and imagining 3 different scenarios.

First: "My life turned out to be pretty dreadful, and this was all because of ...,"

Second: "My life turned out okay, in spite of ...,"

Third: "My life turned out the way it did, and it was thanks to ..., which helped me realize my full potential, for without this I would never have become the person I now am."

As we work on ourselves, although our challenges are personal and unique to us, it is not wrong to look for inspiration to others, and how they have used, or how they have been forced to use, their challenges to achieve successes that may never have been open to them. The example of Helen Keller is a case in point. The important thing is to note HOW they moved forward.

There is too much tendency today to encourage people to remain stuck in the past, through constantly asking WHY this happened. But this just helps people to remain in victim mentality, rather than giving them the tools to move forward.

Victimhood can never lead to happiness and freedom, it can at best lead to a grudging acceptance.