Life, the process of, trusting the, ARTICLE ON from Warriors' Journeys


  • Life, the process of, trusting the, ARTICLE ON

For much of my early life I was always very BUSY, but behind this was an unshakeable feeling that I was on the run or running away. Part of this feeling was due to a growing anger at myself for having accepted second best and sold myself short so often in my life - through not really believing that I deserved my dreams, or even that I deserved to HAVE dreams.

My whole world reflected how I was cutting myself off from life. But through practising the interrelationship of life, I have learned the truth of the fact that "A Warrior can never be lonely."

During the time of my early life, I would often have feelings of great compulsiveness and energy, which I would tend to dissipate in escapisms of one form or another.

I later discovered that these feelings were manifestations of the emotion melancholy, which is the desire for change. I then learned to stay with the feelings, and also to channel them into something creative, like my work.

However, in relation to my work, I also learned to keep a balance, and not to be obsessive. Simply by observing myself in a detached way, and by remembering that I am a part of the greater whole, I was able to gain a better sense of balance and to remember the importance of playing, relaxing, etc.

I found that this also tied in with learning to trust myself. One aspect of this was in terms of procrastinating. Yet, I discovered that I am not a procrastinator at heart, but through doubting myself, and therefore not being sure whether I wanted to do something or not, I ended up procrastinating.

This was mainly about trusting myself to do the best, and also about trusting that if I make a mistake, I will land on my feet. Simply by acting impeccably, I will be strong.

Also, when faced with the familiar feeling of being hassled when faced with a task that is not coming together, I learned that this is more of a materialisation of an old feeling of futility. But life is interactive, and therefore, provided that I have done my part impeccably, it is important to acknowledge that there is some reason why it is not working out. Therefore, rather than trying to control or becoming obsessive, all one can do is to trust the process of life and relax into it.

Obsessiveness leads to being scattered and to life becoming a burden. There is a lack of foresight and thought (about the interrelationship of life), and therefore no FUN!

Through remembering to TRUST and to relax into the process of life I was also able to enjoy myself and to have fun. In addition, I learned how important it was for me to define my parameters, to focus and prioritise.

Enjoying oneself is so very important, and part of my old habit of short-changing myself was to become obsessive and therefore not to enjoy myself.

I would often also become obsessive by succumbing to a tendency to overlook what was already there, right under my nose, and when faced with the feeling of having to justify my existence. I learned be AWARE, and be fluid.

The following aphorism also helped:

"The warrior treats his tonal in a very special way."

I found that this was especially useful when faced with the feeling of having to justify my existence. It was part of the journey of learning that it was okay to just be myself; just to believe in myself.

I kept in mind too; "A warrior is a passionate man who has earthly belongings and things dear to him - if nothing else, then just the path where he walks."

Also, in terms of the journey, one needs to bear in mind always that a warrior never neglects any part of his training - otherwise it creates a vacuum. That vacuum just builds insecurity and drains personal power.

In terms of trust and obsessiveness, an OLD HABIT was feeling that I have so much to do before I get there. Yet, by keeping in mind that the important thing is just to ACT, I am able to remember that life is a journey, and that the present is all there is.

Thus the warrior's status is NOT a goal. It is the journey that is important. One acts like a warrior here and now - there's no need to wait. It is a process, and one in which we need to give credit along the way - for every step is an adventure.

Toltecs say: "Life is a feeling - not an intellectual exercise."