Separativeness, ARTICLE ON from Warriors' Journeys

  • Separativeness, ARTICLE ON

In my desire to learn, to be independent and not be held back by my lack of money, I have learned to improvise and do many things on my own. This intent and my ability to improvise have really served me well in many areas. The positive results of this had been so obvious that for a long time I simply overlooked the trap that I had set up for myself.

At one point, because of my financial situation and my need to learn, it was pretty much imperative for me to do many things on my own. However, for a long time I failed to see that in staying in this mode after I had already learned what I needed was actually holding me back and draining me of my power. I failed to see this until my husband pointed this out to me in my business. It seems so obvious now; it is hard to believe that I could have missed it for so long.

My husband pointed out that because I was insisting on doing everything myself, I was not only losing precious time, but also losing money and business.

A simple example to illustrate this. My truck needed some mechanical work done. So, I took it into my shop and went to work on it. This was something I learned out of necessity, but is not something that I have a great gift for or much desire to do. However, because I have gotten used to just doing it I did not even think about having somebody else do it. Instead I put myself in the position of having to put off my own work, which by this time was paying me pretty well, and running a big risk of being late on my project and hurting my relationship with clients.

Also, my husband pointed out, not only was it more efficient, but it ended up costing much less having a mechanic do the work. In spreading the work out and sharing, the mechanic won, my clients won and so did I.

This pattern, which my husband pointed out to me, permeated my whole business. When I changed this pattern my business went from barely making it to being very successful and bringing in a very healthy income. This, to me, is a very clear example of how acts of separativeness can and do disempower and how a simple shift within myself can empower and uplift not only myself, but also many others.