Female (s), competition between, ARTICLE ON from Warriors' Journeys


  • Female (s), competition between, ARTICLE ON

It is a natural instinct for a female to feel competitive against another female. Although I have tried my best to emulate the male friendship and sense of camaraderie in my female relationships, this has always led to disappointment. However only recently I realised that I cannot fight against this competitive instinct, as it only leads me to hate and fear the competition and feel bad about it. A friend once asked me if I could imagine and wanted a world made up only of crippled females as mirrors, so as to feel better about myself! :)

If I take the sense of competition between females very seriously, and allow my mind to rule and enter into the competition game for the sake of competing, destruction is the inevitable result - petty jealousy, cruelty, revenge and hurt. This type of competition is purely for the attention of the male. For me it started at early age. As a child I felt very competitive towards my mother for the attention of my father and subsequently my brother. It was always based on seeking approval and acknowledgement from the male. Only recently after a painful experience with my parents did I realise that there is no need any more to act competitively towards my mother.

Because I was so competitive in the past, I grew up being very self-reliant and subsequently ambitious and successful in my endeavors. The gift from the experience was to see that what I needed was the quiet self-acknowledgement of what I am, and so to continue my journey without the need to prove anything to anybody.

Females simply cannot be friends in the same way as males. This is the way power has set it up. I do strive to have warm relationships with other females. In these relationships I acknowledge the positive effects of the competition - that it is a force which does not allow for complacency to settle in, that it always makes me go further, and generates genuine warmth and love.

In the context of striving to live in a family and building together a future based on the values of true friendship, I have also realised that working together towards materialising One vision brings me closer to my female friends.