The shortcoming of self-importance, the opposite to that of self-pity, is easy to spot in a number of ways.
The most obvious is that a self-important man always calls forth what he considers as much-needed attention when he is feeling inferior. The situation can arise when he hasn't received a compliment in a number of hours, or possibly someone in the room is giving him a run for his money and he is suddenly feeling below substandard. "I wonder what it is that I can say that would make those people think that I'm just so brilliant, incredible and smart," is a most apt internal dialogue that persists.
Oftentimes we resort to outright lies and fabrication. Whatever it takes! Why? Because deep down inside is where we hide all the ugly things we believe about ourselves; hardwired to our subconscious. These things also rarely see the light of day. From experience, this has been what has motivated me into speaking about myself in the manner that I did in this email. Considering that a stalker never truly reveals much of himself to those around him, one must start to wonder, "Well then, why the sudden outpouring?"
The desire to show others how superior we are is being pushed to the edge of our consciousness by the sheer insanity of the extent to which we simply feel shit about ourselves. An example of this would be a person who constantly overextends himself. The desire to be loved, accepted and included creates such pressure that oftentimes people will go to the most extreme behaviours to just prove this ridiculous point. "I may be ugly but I've got a great personality", "I may not have a lot of money but I'm great in the sack", "Just give me a chance, I promise you will like me," etc.
By contrast, a man of self-pity hides his 'utter perfection' and his constant assurance to himself that he is indeed God's gift to mankind, by bullshitting you about just how much he hates getting it wrong all the time, and then proceeds to tell you a hundred and one reasons why he just can't be perfect like you.
However, the constant motivating behaviour in both of these approaches is the perpetual search for partners-in-crime.
When we judge people based on how close or how far they are to our idea of perfection, then the concept of equality is thrown out the window. A warrior chooses impeccability over perfection, because it is not ever about how close or how far one is to impeccability: It's either you are or you are not. As ThÃ©un would say, "There is no such thing as being 99% impeccable."