Parent (s), and children, trust between, ARTICLE ON from Warriors' Journeys


  • Parent (s), and children, trust between, ARTICLE ON
  • Trust, within parenting, ARTICLE ON

A baby trusts one implicitly!

Isn't it a most wonder-full experience when a baby falls asleep in your arms; or when you carefully feed it; or when you bath it, or when you play together. It is in your care, and it trusts you. I would like to share with you what I learned in terms of this trust, and how I find discipline as being part of this.

I find that the trust shown in me by a child brings such a feeling of wanting to honour the trust with all that I have. For, let's face it, trust is most tenuous. Once that trust is broken, can it truly be repaired?

As a parent, I learn each day in what way I can honour this trust. Look at discipline for example. One aspect of discipline is the ability to listen, to learn. Do parents truly listen to their children? Do we truly take care to listen with all our senses, so that we get to know our children and develop a relationship with them? Or, on the other hand, if you consider the opposite to listening, do we simply lash out at our children for making mistakes which are so part of their learning? If this is the case, the child will at an early age stop listening to you, since it will reflect your behaviour that you are teaching, and soon the trust between you is in jeopardy.

So this then brings about the question - are we then, as parents, simply too lazy to put the required commitment into raising our children? Looking at this commitment, discipline is one of the aspects of parenting, and depending on where you put the focus, it IS a commitment and honour that requires hard work from you. In other words, you yourself need to be disciplined and to lead by example! Therefore, the onus is on you whether you see this very important aspect of parenting as a burden, or whether you simply see this as your ROLE as parent, and thus the joy and PRIVILEGE of imparting to your child all the tools that you have learnt in your life up until this moment in time.

Here I would first like to take a step back. Perhaps I could ask how you perceive discipline? For, from what I can see in the world today, discipline is an ugly word! Any form of discipline is frowned upon, and the parent who is striving to teach their child is labeled as cruel. This peer group pressure is growing at an alarming pace, and parents are succumbing to its crippling effects. But it is our children who are suffering the consequences of parents not taking their responsibilities as parents into their own hands.

How I perceive discipline is doing my impeccable best to take care of, and guide, my children, in order to give them all the tools they need as they grow up; by listening to them and by leading by example. For example, by pointing out what the child can learn from having made a mistake - a miss-take being anything the child has done where it, AND YOU, can learn.

Perhaps you might say that it is not easy to discipline a child, that you feel bad afterwards. But have you considered how much worse you will feel when you realise that you have bred a delinquent?

Certainly, when children do get up to mischief, this can and in fact should be dealt with in a firm and fair manner! And THIS is part of the trust which I know that children FEEL in their parents - to contain and guide them in a most loving and care-full way through this learning, in order to teach them the necessary skills in being a response-able being.

In this way, your relationship with your child is based on listening to one another, and a willingness to co-operate with one another is nurtured in a most loving and uniquely special way. Also and importantly, a feeling of trust grows as your relationship grows, while you are getting to know each other.