Warriorship, ARTICLE ON from Warriors' Journeys

  • Warriorship, ARTICLE ON

Since, and just before, the Christmas retreat, I experienced events in my life which supported me in making the decision that the only way forward for me, is to take the step into the unknown; to believe in myself, and to fight towards being able to bring about the new.

By far the greatest event that made this clear to me, was our move away from our home, family and friends. This is the most difficult thing I have had to do, and although initially devastated and fearful at what was indicated as the necessary course to take, I also knew that this was the only way forward. It was something that rationally made no sense whatsoever, and on repeated occasions I had to battle with my mind, as it kept pushing forward the idea that I had failed, and that moving away was proof of this failure. But because I felt in my heart of hearts that this was the only way forward, I could also see the opportunity it presented. The opportunity to lead us to fulfilling our dreams in terms of fulfilling our fate. The opportunity to fight for the new. The opportunity to choose to go with the new, focussing on being impeccable in uncovering what the new journey was to bring, and thereby living life! This I felt with all my heart, since to stay in the old was not an option, as it not only felt stifling and claustrophobic, but for me, it would also mean eternal death.

Having acknowledged that, I then also knew that I had to act, and act on how I was feeling. This was represented in me living life to the full, and that believing in myself with everything that I have, was imperative.

This is where I am placing the focus, for I know that although the journey ahead is long, I also feel that the journey is filled with experiences that leave me with a feeling of excitement and strength. A feeling of the privilege that it is to be alive.

I was sitting quietly, stitching the toy elephant I am making, when I "caught" myself smiling. A feeling that I savoured, and acknowledged. Daisy, the elephant, was taking shape. Being the first toy I have attempted to make, and wanting to pursue this in terms of an interim form of work, I also realised the folly of type-casting myself in a particular field, or in any way whatsoever! Here I am, being in a new place, not knowing what tomorrow holds, and truly feeling the joy in that.

What I learned is that it is almost always the most difficult steps that lead to the greatest learning, and in this respect too, that the only failure in life is the failure to fight! It takes blood, sweat and tears, and the tears sometimes come unbidden, yet the laughter too. I learned that I can en-joy what my challenges hold and very importantly, that a challenge can never be rushed - it requires patience and quietness to meet the challenge impeccably.