Maleness, exploring, ARTICLE ON from Warriors' Journeys


  • Maleness, exploring, ARTICLE ON

In Part Two, "The Quest For Maleness," of Volume III, Théun writes, "If you are to succeed as a male, you must be willing to allow the female into your life." I have just had an experience where Power has presented me with such a scenario.

A new woman recently started at my workplace, and through a co-worker we became acquainted. We went to a concert one night on the basis that it would be a casual date. We both enjoyed ourselves immensely. Afterwards, another co-worker of mine suggested we meet for some food and drink. We all got a table together and to my surprise, another woman (whom no-one knew), came up to me and said hello. Nobody acknowledged her except me, because I was flattered, so she left.

Later, after the others had left, the woman I was with went to the ladies room and came back quite concerned. That woman who came by to say hello had asked her if the man she was with appreciated how beautiful his date was. I know, it sounds like some cheap bar-room scene. But I became immediately alert to ascertain what was happening beyond the face value.

Later, this same woman showed up again at our table and asked me the same question. Eventually, we all became uncomfortable, so we left.

We spoke afterwards about it and I told her that nothing is a co-incidence. At that moment, I realized what was coming out. I told her that the woman's persistent questions made me articulate some (but not all) things about how I viewed our relationship. I added that I am attracted to her, but feel uncomfortable about getting into a more serious relationship because of our work situation. We have not spoken since, but it took a (female) stranger to make me start seeing how I relate to this woman, and so I know there is more to learn here.