Our past in this lifetime can hold experiences that we may not to this day UNDER-STAND, because we have NOT gained the knowledge we needed to gain from those experiences. When these experiences come at an early age, we do not always have the life experience, or the strength or the ability truly to respond to these experiences. It is only from the knowledge, or the personal power we keep getting from our own experiences in life that we acquire the strength and the ability truly to respond to our experiences, instead of simply re-acting to them.
If we simply react to events, it means that we are doing the same that we have always done. In Toltec terms we say that we are re-enacting our folly. This keeps us going around in circles and we learn nothing new. It is like this! I need to get certain knowledge, so I dream in the challenge that will give me the opportunity to acquire this knowledge. Then when I do not look beyond the face value of the challenge, when I do not actually try to learn from the challenge, I can get caught in re-acting - like playing the blame game - which can include blaming my-self. It is only by bringing the challenge back to my-self and making it about my-self, that I can learn and get the knowledge I require in order to evolve my awareness. By using the knowledge I have, I can begin to respond to my challenges in such a way that they keep bringing me new knowledge, which will further evolve my awareness.
This is the whole purpose of Life made manifest. Life needs to evolve. Life needs to learn about It's unknown Self. We are all units of the One Life and we are all interrelated, interconnected and interdependent. So we are all living in this web of life on the physical plane. We have incarnated into physical bodies that have an emotional and a mental apparatus. This is what makes up our personality, or the little self.
We come to this physical plane because it affords us the best opportunity to learn to evolve our awareness, and part of this involves transmuting our shortcomings. The way to recognise our shortcomings is to recognise how we express these shortcomings, and our shortcomings are expressed through the FORM of our behaviour. So it is logical that by learning about our behaviour, and then working to change our behaviour, we will start to transmute our shortcomings. It is not possible for us to eradicate our shortcomings, they remain with us for life. But we can continuously transmute them as we gain more and more knowledge.
Suppose for example that I wrote a script for my-self which included me learning all I can about Egotism. Can you see that I will be dreaming in challenges that will give me the opportunity to recognise all the different ways in which I express Egotism in my life? By then learning from my challenges in life, I will come to recognise that my self-importance and my self-pity are the two polarities of my shortcoming Egotism.
I learn when I look BEYOND the face value of the challenge and change the focus, by asking my-self, "Why did I dream this challenge into my life?" "What do I need to learn from this challenge?" and "What can I learn now that I did not learn back then because I had not got the life experience to do so at that time?"
The challenges may have to do with unworthiness, not deserving, not being good enough. Where did these originate? How do they keep tripping me up in one form or another? What are my normal doings, behaviour? Do I lash out? Do I hide? Do I play the blame game? Do I compete against? By following these threads, I begin to under-stand. I take back the power that I have allowed to stay outside of my-self because of fear. I no longer give the power to the event or to the other person, because in fighting to gain the knowledge of my-self, I claim the power, the knowledge, which is rightfully mine.
By identifying my BEHAVIOUR, which is how I EXPRESS my SHORTCOMING, I can begin to recognise that I am NOT my behaviour. Then I can begin to change my behaviour, which in turn will support me in transmuting my shortcoming, leading to my actions being supportive of the process and the purpose of Life.
The only reason we remain wounded and hurt is because we have not taken the knowledge from the experience. When we look at our hurts and our wounds, we can begin to indulge in the emotions that arise, and the emotions will arise. The fear can surface even at the thought of looking back. But when we feel hurt, it is because we have not been able to take from out of the challenge the GIFT of power, or knowledge that lies beneath the face value of the experience.
It is so important that we first recognise the fear and acknowledge it. We can start running, but where does the running take us? Where can we hide? How many times have we run or hidden? We can also submit to the fear by indulging in it, but indulging is really running away, since we do not learn by either of these methods. We do not get the knowledge. However, if we use the energy of the fear to look closely at what is going on, we can embrace the challenge; take ownership of the challenge.
To embrace the challenge is to set our intent on getting the new knowledge of our-self from the challenge. By changing the focus in this way, we can turn the challenge around and learn HOW we express our-SELF through our BEHAVIOUR. This will bring us clarity on our behaviour, on how we express our-SELF. Then by discriminating BETWEEN what is life-supportive and what is life-destructive, we learn from our own experiences how our expression of our-selves can be manifested in ACTIONS that support and uphold the process and the purpose of the One Life. That is the purpose which leads to our every action being an expression of unconditional love.