I recently had a good lesson in how I normally react whenever my buttons are pushed. Briefly what happened is this: my young son came to visit for the weekend, and it was not long after his arrival when he started to question me on why I divorced his mother.
I could clearly see that his young head had already been pumped full of all sorts of blame towards me from his mother, and at first I found myself becoming angry and wanting to defend myself against the accusations. But then I remembered that I am now on the Warrior's Path and can therefore Not-Do my normal behaviour. The moment this realisation came to me I found myself calming down and I ended up having a very adult discussion with my son, pointing out to him that it always takes two to tango, and therefore it was not all my fault anymore than that it was all his mother's fault. I also pointed out to him that the reason why his mother and I always ended up fighting is because we were such very good mirrors for each other.
I have been feeling so good about this interaction with my son.
Wonderful! Don't you think? And is it not a HUGE freedom when one can resist the temptation to RE-ACT? But now keep up the good work and you will be AMAZED again and again at how your mirrors either CHANGE, or else just DISAPPEAR! And the more your mirrors change or disappear the better and better you are going to feel about YOURSELF, and the more and more joy you will find within your life! Also, you have done very well in learning what it means NOT to GIVE one's power away to someone else, which is exactly what we always do when we RE-ACT! Furthermore, WELL DONE for having found ENOUGH humility within yourself to take OWNERSHIP of the reactions your own behaviour in the past called forth in your ex-wife! NOT an EASY thing to do! It is always MUCH easier to play the blame game, or else to become self-righteous! And therefore, once again, well done, my friend! :)