I realise that I am still very much caught up in Mother's Awareness. For example, I still grieve for my failed marriage, and I still grieve for the gentle husband that I lost.
It is okay to grieve. You and your ex-husband spent a great many years together, and in that time you experienced a great deal TOGETHER - experiences that are not easy to forget and that are IMPOSSIBLE to discard! One cannot just walk away from one's past without RE-SPECT! As Kahlil Gibran expresses it so sensitively, "It is not a garment I cast off this day, but a skin I tear with my own hands." Learning not to be a mother is much the same, for at the end of the day all true learning is forced! But it is good that you are beginning to recognise Mother's Awareness in yourself!