I have become aware of just how bad I really do feel about my past. Looking back at my past I can see how much I fucked up, but this makes me feel even worse about myself, with the result that I still fuck up whenever I feel bad about myself. It all feels so very painful! How can I change this?
But you DO know what causes the pain, don't you? It is not because you HAVE fucked up, but because you CONTINUE to fuck up, since you do not want to OWN your past! It is one thing to feel bad about your past, but it is sheer INDULGENCE to keep on fucking up because of feeling bad about the past! OWN the past FULLY, even if it does make you feel like pig shit, but then learn from it ALL that you can and USE that KNOWLEDGE gained to move forward! This is the warrior's way - the humble way!