Numerology, humorous rendition of from Warriors' Experience

  • Numerology, humorous rendition of
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Friends, many of you have through time, asked me for guidance on how to work with your jewels of awareness and shortcomings, and I have always given you my guidance freely. However, all too often I still see most of you becoming ever so SERIOUS in your learning, so much so that you turn your learning into a burden of grim determination, instead of EN-JOYING the bright ADVENTURE of LEARNING about self. So to help you shift the focus Russell and I are going to give you a new set of guidelines in working with your jewels and shortcomings. But before you see this as a joke, remember the words of Shakespeare, quote, "Many a true word spoken in jest!"

Numerology : Lesson #1

  1. Since we last spoke this apprentice has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
  2. I would not allow this apprentice to breed.
  3. This apprentice is not so much of a has-been, but more a definite won't-be.
  4. This apprentice works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
  5. When this apprentice opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.
  6. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
  7. This young apprentice has delusions of adequacy.
  8. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
  9. This apprentice is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
  10. This apprentice should go far, and the sooner she starts, the better.
  11. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
  12. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
  13. She doesn't have ulcers, but she's a carrier.
  14. I would like to go hunting with him sometime.
  15. He's been working with glue too much.
  16. He would argue with a signpost.
  17. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
  18. He has one loose screw; all the others having been lost.
  19. If you see two people talking and one looks bored, she's the other one.
  20. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
  21. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
  22. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
  23. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
  24. Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
  25. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
  26. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
  27. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
  28. It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,0000,000 other sperm.
  29. One neuron short of a synapse.
  30. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
  31. Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
  32. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
  33. He took an IQ test and the results were negative.