Théun, sometimes when I see people leaving the group I feel such a deep sadness. In moments like that, with all my heart, I just want to work even harder in the hope that if I change faster then others in the group stand a better chance to also win.
What you express so well is so very TRUE, and poignantly so! Yet, realize too, that no matter how HARD we may strive to change ourselves so that we may ALL win, there will always be those who either do NOT WANT to change, or else just LACK the PERSONAL POWER to be able to change!
Y is an example of someone who WANTED to, but who LACKED the needed personal power! Sad as it is, I saw Y's leaving coming and as being inevitable! It was but a matter of time!
But herein, for me, lies the poignancy and the REAL heartache! When I see people who HAVE what it takes fritter away their time and their opportunities, I so often wish that there was a way in which to give those who truly want to, but who can't, what it is they need to move forward! But LIFE does not allow for this! Life is such that we must each FIGHT to claim our power FOR ourselves and BY ourselves! As Kahlil Gibran expresses it so well, "The vision of one man lends not its wings to another!" And at the same time I am also always reminded of the extremely poignant words said to Carlos Castaneda by the inimitable Genaro, "Ask yourself, why me? But you should not ask yourself this question in the hope of finding an answer, but rather to contemplate your good fortune in having found your way to the Warrior's Path?" Those words of Genaro have always brought tears to my eyes, for often have I felt overwhelmed by what a privilege it is to be able to live the life of the warrior! And, yes, in my own sense of being privileged I never stop longing to extend that privilege to all around me, and yet we can only DO what we are already doing! :)