My dear friend, in the time that you have been working with us I have tried MANY different approaches with you! At first, knowing what your former training has been, I took the humble and friendly approach. Then when this didn't work I teased you, I humoured you, I challenged you, I whacked you, I loved you! But let's be HONEST, NONE of this has worked, and neither have you in any REAL way benefited from any of it!
Whenever such an impasse is reached the nagal has no option other than to SPEAK the FINAL words of EN-COURAGE-MENT, but even in this, it is up to him to use his DISCRETION in terms of whether this will serve or not! Many who have been unsubscribed from the Group have been denied the PRIVILEGE of having these words spoken to them! I will speak them now to you in the vain hope that they will have at least SOME effect! These words are always TAILORED to meet the needs of the apprentice concerned!
I know your former practice quite WELL, my friend, even though Toltecs use somewhat different terminology to describe the SAME principles! As I have already pointed out to you, what you know as your former practice is but a PARTIAL practice of what Toltecs term the First Ring of Power! If my memory serves me correctly, there are a mere handful of you in the world today that have achieved the highest level in your training - plus-minus one thousand, I believe? But how MANY of this thousand cracked and lost their minds after this? This is something your former practice has managed to conceal quite well! But even MORE importantly, how MANY of this thousand who did not lose their minds GAINED the promised power? From what I have been able to detect, very, very few, and of these, the power they DID gain was again only PARTIAL!
And you, my friend? How did YOU fare? You CRACKED and very NEARLY lost your mind, did you not? And you FAILED to gain any power! This much became clear to me when I challenged you openly to use your power against me! But you didn't, my friend, simply because you have NO power at your disposal! But what is the end result of having failed in your former practice? You have become LOCKED into a MIND that is barely functional, because of having been nearly destroyed! This is WHY I have exercised so much patience with you, a patience that I KNOW many on Hunter's Lodge have perceived as favouritism! Where has a cracked mind left you? It has left you emotionally crippled, mentally unstable, and FILLED with FEAR, ANXIETY and HUGE suppressed ANGER! Sad, is it not? Thirty years of your life you have dedicated to the pursuit of a power that has all but destroyed you, and worse still, even after all of this sacrifice you still FAILED to achieve that power!
Your whole life is a failure, my friend! Look back upon your life and see if there is anything much there that you can CLAIM to have been a TRUE success? Oh, yes, a few MOMENTS here, and a few MONTHS there, but on the WHOLE an abysmal FAILURE! So it is understandable that you should be so angry, so bitter and so TWISTED, for even NOW that you have found your way to the Warrior's Path you are still caught in ANXIETY and gripped by FEAR as you realise that you are once again FAILING! So what do you do? In your fear and your anger you REACH for the TATTERED REMAINS of a FAILED power to lash out at the world around you in the FUTILE attempt to keep your FEAR at bay! Sad! Extremely sad! You are like a mad woman holding a knife with a broken BLUNT blade in your hand whilst going beserk, screaming, "I will KILL you!" Kill you with WHAT? The only thing that broken blade in your hand is good for is for digging your OWN grave!
You remind me of the Leader of the opposition of your former practice who called me Mickey Mouse and who sent his CHIEF magician to terrorise a former apprentice of mine into a jibbering wreck, to ransack his home for "information," to put a death spell on him which was to be self-initiated, and then to move on to Cape Town to kill me! The magician came to Cape Town, I made SURE he had my address, but he was too scared to come and find me! What a sad and pathetic creature he turned out to be, and what an equally sad and pathetic creature you have allowed yourself to become! You are FINISHED, my friend, FINISHED! Unless you can find it within yourself to TURN LEFT!
You term Hunter's Lodge your home! And you SAY that the people here are your FRIENDS! Then LISTEN to your friends, for right now they are the ONLY beings in this big wide world that STAND BETWEEN you and utter DESTRUCTION!
Listen, or else you and I will part ways!