Divorce, handling a resistant spouse from Warriors' Experience


  • Divorce, handling a resistant spouse

Question:

I need some guidance on how to handle my wife now that we are about to be divorced. She is resisting the divorce like crazy, and trying every trick of the trade to manipulate me back into the marriage. But in my heart of hearts I know that our marriage can never work, for it has never been the kind of relationship which is life-supportive to either my wife, myself or our children.

Answer:

My friend, I well know that your marriage is NOT life-supportive, and therefore it is time to get really TOUGH! To not do so is to encourage your wife in behaviour which is not only life-destructive to herself, but also for you and the children!

Write your wife a LONG email in which you RUTHLESSLY make it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR to her WHY you CANNOT be together as husband and wife, let alone REMAIN friends! In doing this, do NOT pull the punches, but USE the HAMMER to GOOD effect! Drive HOME the nails! If you pull your punches NOW, your wife will be encouraged to continue with her madness and will eventually bring about some form of DESTRUCTION that she and you will live to REGRET, but it will be TOO LATE to UNDO the damage done!

So it is best to drive HOME the nails NOW! If this is the first time you are having to use your sword to give someone a shave, then DO it as IMPECCABLY as you can, but WITHOUT worrying if perhaps it is too HARSH! In this respect it will HELP you GREATLY if you remember that you TOO are an instrument of power, and in this situation, your wife is calling forth a lesson from power, but power shows NO MERCY and grants NO QUARTER! Such is the Law of Economy!

It takes a lot of love to let someone go! But, my friend, it takes even MORE love to beat someone whom one loves to an inch of his or her life! How much do you love your wife? How much do you CARE for her? This is another aspect of the Law of Economy, namely, giving someone a beating can be transactional, or it can be an act of love! In the first you give the person concerned what is rightfully theirs! In the second, you INFLICT upon your-SELF a wound that only TIME It-Self can heal, for you must NEVER forget that whatever you do to others you do also to yourself! Such is the interrelationship of life, and such is the group-consciousness of the SELF, one of the Dreamers of man-kind!

By the way, I said write an email. I did not say phone your wife. Phone calls can become VERY personal and messy, whereas emails can be read again and again and serve in putting things straight for the record.