No matter how hard I try to form and nurture a better relationship with Z, my efforts are always frustrated! What am I missing in action?
START with a NOT-DOING! Start with trying to MEET Z, instead of trying to FORCE him into having a meaningful relationship with you! How can you even begin to build a relationship when right now you do not even speak the same language? Force and trying to control do nothing uplifting for anyone! Do I try to FORCE those who clearly do NOT want to tread the Warrior's Path into seeing things my way, into agreeing with me, and into being my friend? NO! Instead we part ways, and I let them be! So if you and Z do not see eye to eye right now, and there is NO HOPE of being able to MEET each other, then LET HIM BE until such time as that you CAN in some way MEET each other!
Nurturing, my friend, as I have pointed out to you MANY times before, has got sweet blow all to do with making everything nice and warm and cozy, but instead has got EVERYTHING to DO with SUPPORTING STRENGTH! Like right now I AM, believe it or not, NURTURING the potential in both you and the Group, but in doing so I am calling forth your STRENGTH, and not your sense of victimhood! And I am kicking your arse furiously so that you WILL let go of and finally trash Mary Poppins once and for all, because it is HER insistence upon a bloody teaspoonful of sugar that keeps tripping you up!
Self-importance CANNOT be dealt with with NICETIES, and so there is no point in trying to coat a SHOVEL with sugar!