I am deeply distressed at what has transpired between H and myself. Yet I believe that I am not some kind of monster, because my intentions have always been pure and good. But perhaps I am missing something?
If I have come to know H even just a little, it is enough for me to know that she has always loved you very deeply! :) And what you should realize is that where there is TRUE love, there is NEVER any blame. Therefore I very much doubt that H sees you as a monster! But what H DOES see as being THE monster in what was your relationship with her, is that your intentions HAVE always been good, and yet you never even TRIED to take it beyond intentions! None of us can LIVE on intentions that are never materialized beyond words, my friend, no matter HOW good they are! :) It is sad, but true.