What is the difference between "dreaming in" and fantasising?
Let us take a different approach to your question by looking at what you already know!
You know that our AWARENESS has TWO polarities, the HEART and the MIND, MALE and FEMALE! The HEART is pure FEELING concerning the UNITY of Life, the MIND is ALL THOUGHT concerning the EVERY-THING of Life! The HEART is INSPIRATIONAL, the MIND is ROMANTIC! Therefore the only true learning there is, is learning HOW to achieve INTELLIGENT CO-OPERATION between the HEART and the MIND, the two polarities of our awareness!
The warrior is a man, or a woman, who walks what is for him a Path with a Heart, meaning that the warrior FOLLOWS and ACTS upon the dictates of his HEART, and in doing so his MIND supports him by CONCEIVING and thereby BRINGING TO BIRTH upon the physical plane what his HEART is guiding him towards. So the HEART dreams according to the script of life, and the MIND brings to birth this script! What is it to dream? To dream is to bring about ALTERED STATES of perception, meaning to be FLUID in the challenge of HOW to fulfill our scripts! From this it is clear to see that ONLY the HEART, the DREAMER made flesh, can truly dream, whilst the MIND can at best ROMANTICISE! The expression "learning to dream true," is merely ANOTHER way in which to express the DEEPER implications inherent within the term "intelligent co-operation!" The RELATIONSHIP between these two different EXPRESSIONS of the ONE fundamental PRECEPT, can be summed up in the words, "learning to be FLUID like the DREAMER is an EXPRESSION of INTELLIGENCE that is demonstrated whenever there is CO-OPERATION between the two polarities of awareness, HEART and MIND!
To return now to your question, it should now be clear that "dreaming in" pertains to LISTENING to the HEART, whilst fantasy is part and parcel of the ROMANCE that is generated by the MIND whenever internal dialogue is allowed free reign! In other words, in the absence of internal dialogue there is also no fantasy. In the absence of internal dialogue the MIND falls still and becomes RECEPTIVE to the VOICE OF SILENCE, the HEART! When we access and LISTEN to that inner voice we are engaged in ACTIVE DREAMING, and within that ALTERED STATE of perception, no matter whether it is a HUGE shift or merely a TINY movement of the assemblage point, we KNOW what our hearts are telling us at THAT particular ALIGNMENT! In that moment of ALIGNMENT conception, namely perception, takes place, and we start bringing to birth, we start to dream in the PURPOSE of this particular incarnation!
Does this answer you, my friend? :)
Perhaps you can now see that women, careers, music, food, candles, roses, knights in shining white armor, or whatever else, have not got too much to do with dreaming in, but are much more in the nature of romance! Romance is NOT wrong, as long as you ENJOY it for WHAT it is and do not FOOL yourself into believing that it is Dreaming! Even warriors ENJOY romance, not that type of romance which is generated by internal dialogue, but the ROMANCE that comes about as a result of the INTELLIGENT CO-OPERATION between HEART and MIND whenever the MIND is RECEPTIVE to INSPIRATION from the HEART! The first type of romance has its basis in ILLUSION; the second type is FOUNDED within UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IN ACTION, INTENT! But romance remains romance, and is NOT true Dreaming! The difference between the two lies in MEANING and PURPOSE. Dreaming has to do with PURPOSE, whereas TRUE romance has to do with the MEANING we put into fulfilling that PURPOSE!