Conditions, versus friendship from Warriors' Experience


  • Conditions, versus friendship
  • Friendship, versus conditions

Question:

Théun, I would like to come back to the issue of smoking. I would like to invite everyone in the Group to a party at my home, but as I do not smoke I have also decided that I am going to ask the smokers in the Group to please refrain from smoking in my home. Is this wrong in any way?

Answer:

We can make this as SIMPLE or as COMPLICATED as we wish! As I am for ever trying to explain, the ONLY reason why people love to complicate things is because in the end there is just SO MUCH that has been said and done that everyone has LOST the plot! What BETTER way is there than this to JUSTIFY and HIDE one's REAL doings? :) Talk up a STORM and throw AT people all sorts of REASONS as to WHY your view should be supported and eventually people will just agree that you are INDEED right, for the MIND can TRULY justify just about anything!

So, just to be a stick in the mud, may I be SIMPLE? If this Group is about friendship, and if your party is about SHARING with FRIENDS, then why the CONDITIONS? Did you have a "good" reason for imposing the conditions, or is it just that you want friendship to be conditional? Now, mind you, I am NOT saying that conditions are NECESSARILY a BAD thing, but I am asking you and the Group to look at this CARE-FULLY and DEEPLY! In other words, IF you ARE going to DICTATE certain conditions, as opposed to IMPOSE certain conditions, and please note the difference, then what is your MOTIVE for doing so? One further hint; are these conditions going to foster and enhance UNCONDITIONAL love in action, or are they just LIMITATIONS to building true friendship?

So, you see, my friend, life may be SIMPLE, but to KNOW what is life-supportive and what is life-destructive is not a SIMPLE case of JUSTIFYING one's actions with the MIND! <sg> But now to be the devil's advocate; am I not perhaps merely giving YOU as good as you give? Or am I not perhaps just trying to MANIPULATE you into allowing me, a smoker, to smoke in your home should you ever invite me? <wg>