Marriage (s), stalking from Warriors' Experience


  • Marriage (s), stalking
  • Female, the, taking the male's lead, explained
  • Stalking, problems within marriage

Question:

Théun, my husband is driving me nuts with his recent demands on me. He is starting to say things like, "As my wife you should WANT to obey my every command!" This has now also led him into saying that he wants me to make more time available for us to spend together before he goes to work in the morning. How must I deal with his brutish behaviour? Théun, I just don't trust my husband to provide a lead which will be of mutual benefit to us both!

Answer:

LOL! You and your husband are most definitely one of the funniest couples I have ever known! You take yourselves and each other SO seriously that I am surprised you have not yet tried to kill each other! <ebwg>

Why don't you and your husband, just for once, and as a not-doing, TRY to see the HUMOUR in your folly? For example, if it had been my husband who said to me, "As my wife you should want to obey my every command," I would probably have said something to the effect of, "Yes, SIR," and then wet myself laughing! I would more than likely even have had an absolute BALL playing along by being utterly ingratiating, servile and meek in EVERY possible way, including in BED! <g> I would have had a WAIL of a time playing at being the THING which is there to be used and abused by the big macho lord and master! <g> One thing is for sure, I would have laid it on SO THICK that my husband would soon enough have begged me to please STOP being a bloody doormat! <ebwg> Really, my friend, WHERE is your sense of HUMOUR and FUN? LOL!

As for telling you to make available more time to spend together, did it ever occur to you that PERHAPS your husband WOULD like to spend time with you before going off to work, even IF he verbalized it in a brutish manner? <sg> My friend, we can all CHOOSE which way we would LIKE to perceive something! We can choose to be OFFENDED, or we can choose to see it as an OPPORTUNITY to INTERACT and thereby to LEARN FROM one another, irrespective of whether or not we WERE offended, angered or hurt! At the end of the day, ALL of life is what WE make of it! B-:)

You also say that you do not trust your husband to provide a lead that will be of mutual benefit to you both. LOL! But show me a woman who does, my friend! And from my own experience of MOST men today I cannot say that I blame women for NOT trusting men in this respect! It is sad but true that just about the only thing men CAN be trusted with is how to get their rocks off! LOL!

But, but, BUT, my friend, in moments like these you should always ask yourself, "What do I TRULY WANT my husband to be? Do I WANT him to claim his power as a male, and thereby become the male in my life? Or do I want a Little Boy that has to be told what to do, when to do it, and how to do it?" If you want your husband to be a male, then there is nothing else to do, other than to step back and say, "YOU lead, and I will try my UTMOST to take that lead!" If you DO this, not with anger, with resentment, begrudgingly, or under duress, but WILLINGLY and FREELY of your OWN will and accord, and for no other reason than that you WANT to do this with EVERY FIBRE of your being, you will find that your husband will begin to open his heart to you, and more and more will he take you INTO his ARMS, INTO his HEART, for NO MAN that is worthy of being called a man can RESIST opening his heart to the FEMALE that is trying her UTMOST to SUPPORT him in becoming the true male! But if you are constantly on your husband's back, TELLING him what, how and when, he will resist you, fight you, and reflect for you your own lack of trust!