Théun, I feel that I have screwed up my fate, for no matter how hard I now try to create for myself a new life I am just never supported in my efforts. It seems like every action of mine is the wrong action. Is this perhaps because I am also not yet listening to my heart? I may just also add that my parents blame my failure to create a new life on me having joined the Warrior's Path. They maintain that people like you entrap others.
We CANNOT, no matter HOW hard we try, AVOID our fate. By this I mean that even IF we FRUSTRATE our fate hopelessly, we STILL end up learning what we were MEANT to learn, albeit then by DEFAULT, regrets and remorse! From this it follows that to be ABLE to CREATE something, anything, means that it is IN LINE with the unfoldment of our fate, otherwise it would just NOT materialize, regardless of how much we may try to FORCE it. So in this respect you can define "the right action" as being the one that has a desirable outcome, just as you would NOT be incorrect if you defined the action that led to an undesirable outcome as having been "the wrong action." But in either case you WILL still LEARN - the ultimate fate of us all! :)
When it comes to listening to the heart, you must realise that this is NOT something that CAN be achieved overnight, or by yesterday! If you recall, I have OFTEN at retreats explained that it takes a GREAT deal of INTENSELY HARD work to TRULY listen to the heart! In this respect I have also explained that, technically speaking, listening to the heart IMPLIES having a fully opened HEART CENTRE! However, at THIS point in time MOST of humanity is FIRMLY polarized within the THROAT CENTRE if not in the SOLAR PLEXUS CENTRE! Furthermore, as I have also explained, when it comes to expressing either love or warmth, humanity, not YET functioning from the HEART CENTRE, expresses this warmth and love either through the SACRAL CENTRE, that is, the animal instinct for procreation leading to physical sex, or through the SOLAR PLEXUS CENTRE, that is, the emotions, leading to emotional and mental stimulation versus true INSPIRATION. Read Volume V with respect to INSPIRATION.
Having said this, I must also AGAIN point out, as I have done continuously throughout ALL of the teachings, that even IF the Heart Centre is NOT YET open, we still nonetheless have FEELINGS, the expression of IRRATIONAL KNOWLEDGE and PERCEPTION. So when I EN-COURAGE all of you to get OUT of the MIND and to LISTEN to your feelings and your heart, my strategy has always been threefold. Firstly, whilst you remain POLARISED within the MIND you are by definition EXCLUDING the Heart, for the simple reason that CLARITY or SOBRIETY is such a very SEDUCTIVE force! Secondly, there is NO BETTER way in which to open the Heart Centre than to strive with EVERY fibre of your being to TRY, TRY, TRY acting from the heart! Thirdly, and here I am giving away my secret, <g>, but it really DOESN'T matter one bit; in order to FORCE you to learn, you, like all of us, HAVE to be HOOKED by the nagal in some way. :) To be hooked means that your ATTENTION has been CAPTURED, and then DEVIATED from focusing upon the HARDSHIPS entailed in learning, to focusing on achieving a most DESIRABLE goal. Unless our attention is deviated away from the hardships encountered upon the Path of Knowledge, NONE of us would ever VOLUNTARILY want to learn! LOL!
So what is the goal I have set up for you? True love and warmth! :) I have given all of you enough of a TASTE of this, and continue to do so, to ENSURE that you can no longer live without finding true love and warmth within your lives! By now you have all become pretty much ADDICTED to finding love and warmth, together with ALL that is entailed therein, not least of which is the COMPANIONSHIP and the sense of CAMARADERIE as you journey TOGETHER! Whilst you continue to keep the focus on this, rather than focusing upon the hardships you encounter upon your way, you will step by step, slowly, slowly begin to open the Heart Centre, only then to realise that an openness of HEART, and the resultant openness of HAND, is the ONLY thing of any REAL consequence and importance! And to this end you will also come to see that the Warrior's Path is merely the means by which we have traveled, and that it, the Warrior's Path, beautiful and empowering as it is, is NOT the answer within itself! :) This is why Toltecs say that the Warrior's Path, like ALL paths, leads nowhere at all!
So, you see, your parents are quite right. <wg> People like me trap your attention so that you WILL "tow the line!" LOL! But what your parents did not tell you, is that not all "lines" are undesirable lines! And what your parents also did not tell you, is that all of us are such UNBELIEVABLY STUBBORN IDIOTS, that we would NEVER learn anything of REAL VALUE unless we are either tricked into it, or else forced into it! <ebwg>
Does this answer you, my friend?