Why is sex regarded as being a sin by so many in the Church? I know that I for one grew up feeling like a sinner because I wanted to have sex but then feeling bad for wanting it. And what didn't help is the fact that I always find it hard to open up to women.
Sex per se is NOT a sin! In fact there is no REAL sin in the world! The only thing we CAN term sin, and even THEN the word "sin" is a BIG word, is when we deliberately and willfully act AGAINST what our hearts are telling us! So we may well ask, "What then IS all this business about sex being a sin?"
When sex is an EXPRESSION of the true UNITY between male and female it is an act of DIVINE AT-ONE, and hardly a sin! But the problem is that MOSTLY this never happens! Men and women, in general, just want to get their rocks off, and therefore USE and ABUSE each other for their own sexual gratification! So, you know, it goes something like this: Boy meets girl. Boy and girl have the hots for one another, and so say to each other, "I LURVE you, let's go make LURVE!" LOL! How one MAKES love I have absolutely NO idea, but you know what I mean, don't you? <wg>
So the question you need to ask yourself is whether or not you WANT a wife, a partner for LIFE? Or whether you just want good old fashioned sex? There is really NO point in making this any more complicated than this! But once again, even here the problem lies in that MOST people WANT a READY-MADE relationship. People do NOT want to work HARD at BUILDING a fulfilling and meaningful relationship. So boy meets girl, and for a while boy and girl get on REALLY well, in that they SHARE a lot, there is MUCH warmth between them, and the sex is FANTASTIC! LOL! But then they start to hit the bumps in the journey, and they don't like it one bit! So up they jump and shout, "Enough! I am already OUT of here!" And they rush off to find a replacement partner! And then the story REPEATS itself! Kind of boringly so, but it repeats itself anyway, over and over again!
So why did you feel like a sinner? Well from what I have just shared it should now be clear - you never DID want to COMMIT yourself for life to any one woman, but still you enjoyed the "sweeties" when they were offered, not so? LOL!
The reason why you find it difficult to open up to the females you interact with is because YOU are still NOT clear as to your OWN MOTIVE for wanting to interact with them. In many ways you remind me of X. LOL! You are always so WARM and with a HUGE open smile on your face! But the moment one starts to interact with you one can just FEEL you have an agenda! In X's case it feels like he is about to rape one! In your case it feels like you are about to SEDUCE one! LOL! So I am not surprised you STILL feel guilty and uncomfortable, especially around females! At least X is honest, in that he ADMITS he undresses the female with his eyes! But you just smile and laugh, and smile some more, until one begins to wonder WHEN you are going to make THE move! <ebwg>
Does this help, my funny friend?