Self-discipline, acquisition of from Warriors' Experience


  • Self-discipline, acquisition of

Question:

Théun, here is how I am working with your response to my request for guidance:

"LOL! Goodness me, but you DO want to have your cake AND eat it, yes? But I am afraid life does not work in this way!"

I interpret that to mean that I want to be self-disciplined but without changing anything in me or putting in the hard work it takes to develop it.

"You can make as many excuses for your lack of self-discipline as you like, but deep down inside you KNOW that I know that YOU know that it is all just so much bullshit! Please excuse my French!"

True! I KNEW this even as I wrote the question. My heart wanted to bring the issue to a head and find the courage and tools to penetrate through the veil of excuses.

"So, yes, you can blame your feminine traits, you can blame the wind, the doldrums, your lack of privacy, and whatever else your MIND can come up with, but it is not a fear of failure you have, but a very REAL fear of having to face and ACKNOWLEDGE your lack of self-discipline! LMAO!"

To ACKNOWLEDGE my lack of self-discipline means to see through my mind's strategy of dancing and dodging around the issue by investing lots of energy into anything but developing self-discipline -- and calling that developing self-discipline. (LOL!) And to FEEL the irony. So I have to believe that I can channel that same energy but now use it to develop authentic self-discipline. I'll need to recapitulate my way through the emotions that come up and stalk the habits of mind that perceive this in terms of success/failure, right/wrong, etc. I will not let myself "off the hook" because I now realize that my freedom will remain elusive as long as I avoid this fundamental challenge.

Answer:

You have grasped the guidance given very well. :) However, a mind set that you need to drop and to do away with is the belief that you are failing whenever you lack in self-discipline. A lack of self-discipline is not the same as failure, but to believe it is, is counter-productive. So just relax into the journey ahead by doing a not-doing in the sense of NOT beating up on yourself when you again find yourself having lacked the necessary self-discipline. Simply say to yourself, okay, so let me have a look at WHY I am lacking self-discipline right now? So instead of trying to avoid it, EMBRACE it so as to learn from it! This is also what I meant by letting your HAIR down. :) There is MUCH we can learn from our MISS-TAKES in life, but if you are going to make yourself feel bad about having made a mistake, you will learn nothing of value. Working with your lack of self-discipline is exactly the same principle. Once you have learned WHY you lack self-discipline half the battle is already won, for then you will KNOW what you need to do in order to develop self-discipline. Therefore in taking this stance you must EXPECT that there are still going to be times when you indulge in a lack of self-discipline.

With warm regards,
Théun