Apprentice (s), a delinquent apprentice, example of from Warriors' Experience

  • Apprentice (s), a delinquent apprentice, example of
  • Théun Mares, addressing a delinquent apprentice


Theun, I looked for private sharing at the retreat,because never before I had experience to speak for my personal issues in front of so many people. Your answer gave me courage to do it and I used the opportunity. Yes,I wrote two times it. I used different e-mail addresses, not knowing which right one is. Because I feel it is important moment of my life, I wanted to hear your point of view.

When I received your answer I felt as I failed in an examination, nevertheless I put so many efforts to take it. Or as a farmer who made his best to have good fruits, but when he offered them, the board of managers said :"That is rubbish!"

Many emotions came one after another. At first I was shocked because what happened was more than my worst expectations. After I felt sad, because all my endeavors and learning looked so useless. It brought confusion if it is my path. After came laugh about my stupidity and madness. Finally I felt empty of thoughts and emotions. What can I lose? What can be hurt and broken? Only my self-image. But I want it.

It is not one of my "nice" moments; it is not easy to stand face to face with all you described. That is but the dark sides of my behavior, my ticket for freedom. I know I am strong, I am ready to fight, I believe in my potential and my ability to unfold it.

I can compare your answer as box you sent to me. At first glimpse the packing looks so "ugly"(the ruthless words). But I know these words are picked out and are precise. I feel your belief this packing will not stop me to open the box and to find what is inside. And what I found was your Love and care. The present is so big that I can explore and work on it all life. Thank you!

I want to take my right place in life. I believe that not apprentices choose the Master, but he calls them by some inner way. If you as Nagal see I cannot be part of your apprentices, you are unassumed to work with me, I will leave the Legacy. But I cannot turn to my old life, I cannot imagine my life without the Teachings.

Thank you again!


My friend, I am pleased to see that you are beginning to learn from your folly, and this is very good. :) And, yes, I too can see your potential as well as your sincerity, but your demanding behaviour must STOP, for it does not serve you or anyone else! Such behaviour in the face of power is what I term being a delinquent, and delinquents CANNOT withstand the onslaught of power, for power operates ONLY according to the rule of the hunt - showing NO mercy, and granting NO quarter!

Now that you and I have at least come this far, may I suggest that you settle down to working HARD at making your life PRACTICAL in every way possible, for you fantasise FAR too much about where you COULD go, and about what you COULD be, instead of focusing on where you are at RIGHT NOW and on what you are RIGHT NOW! It does not matter HOW much potential we have if we NEVER make the effort to materialise that potential, and we CANNOT, I repeat, we CANNOT materialise our potential with airy-fairy thinking, a lack of impeccability, romantic notions about some imagined glorious future, and in short, with fantasy! Materialising our TRUE potential within life requires HARD work, BLOOD, SWEAT and a great many TEARS! There is NO highway to freedom - there is only a most DIFFICULT and TREACHEROUS cliff to climb, HAND-HOLD by handhold, and FOOT-HOLD by foothold! And here you must study the dream symbols I give you.

So DROP the romance, my friend, and get REAL! Many, no, a GREAT many of those that came to work with me at some point in their lives, and who had equally much potential, have fallen off the face of the cliff! They COULD have gone all the way, but they chose instead to spurn my guidance, and to INDULGE themselves in their folly! What happened to them is today HISTORY, and nothing more, but HISTORY! Do you grasp? NOT potential realised, but history! So make up your heart as to what you wish for yourself. Do you wish to be a has-been? Or do you wish to realise your full potential?

I wish you well upon your journey with us, my friend, but pull yourself towards yourself, for around here ALL of us have to climb, and therefore no-one can sit around holding your hand. We need our hands with which to keep climbing! :)

With warm regards,