Theun, it feels like it would be offensive to put off writing you any longer. I feel bad that I can't formulate an intelligent question to ask you.
I am struggling with the basic instructions, like being wide awake, working with mirrors, and being detached. I know I have to do better. I am trying to open up to the people in my life. I sense how inclusiveness is the only viable way to relate to my daily world and how it equalizes everything. I feel some peace when I accept the world as it is and stop trying to control it.
I have fought long and hard to break out of social conditioning but I am woefully inexperienced in living like a warrior. It feels like I am in limbo. It is hard to be in the moment and to claim my daily life as my battlefield. I sense that there is a great joy in life but it always seems to be in the future.
An foolish apprentice asks, "What am I to do?"
LOL! What to do, eh? <g> Why! Peel those goddamned potatoes IMPECCABLY, you fruit cake! And then reread the instructions given in the books for becoming a warrior. It is only AFTER the apprentice has finally given up ALL sense of romance regarding the Warrior's Path, and only AFTER he has given up the hope that he will ever become a warrior, that the forces of destiny can guide him or her. Until then you just keep on getting in your own way! LOL! People think I joke when I say peel those potatoes impeccably, but LITTLE do they realise how PROFOUND this guidance is. Others will offer you magic wands, and out of body experiences, and fantastic journeys to marvellous worlds. And I watch all this huffing and puffing, and I laugh quietly to myself.
What I offer, my friend, is nothing glamorous. What I offer is the HUMBLE life of the true warrior, and in that humility the warrior peels the potatoes as impeccably as he can. And why? Because this is the ONLY way to the One Power. The true teachings CANNOT be solicited, any more than the kingdom of God can be taken by force. If it is your fate in this lifetime to become a warrior, then the powers of destiny will GUIDE you, but this can ONLY happen within the QUIETNESS of life!
I watch people who do not know me come to the Temple of Peace, and inwardly I have a hard time not to laugh! I don't know what all they expect to find, or what they expect of me. But one thing is for sure, judging from the look of sheer disbelief and bewilderment on their faces, they cannot reconcile what they FEEL at the Temple and around me, with what their MINDS are judging as being very ordinary and common place. LOL! But the Temple has this effect even on people who know nothing about me. For example, not so long ago we received a visit from the Slovakian Foreign Police to verify our residential address. I had them invited in and we sat in the Living Room in order to complete the required documentation. The investigators, who are normally very arrogant and self-important within their own environment, went out of their way to be polite and respectful. Before leaving the one man turned to us and remarked that the Living Room has the most remarkable feeling to it. He asked if it was perhaps a meditation centre. :) We smiled politely and said, "No." He then looked even more baffled and respectful than before. LOL!
With much warmth and laughter,