Male, the, becoming, requirements for from Warriors' Experience


  • Male, the, becoming, requirements for

Question:

Théun, since my visit to the Temple of Peace, my life is not and cannot ever be the same. The truths that were revealed to me through you and everyone there are constantly churning inside cutting to the core of what I imagined my life to be. It is not easy, there is pain, and it is not pretty, just as you have warned me.

"We ALL call forth the challenges that come our way, and you did so on Saturday evening with the bravado of a man that is in full command of his power and who is therefore not fighting for his life. LOL! Yet the battle you called forth is a most dire battle, but you still seem to be wholly unaware of the magnitude of what you called forth, for the simple reason that you have become utterly complacent in your marriage."

I am now discovering the magnitude of the battle that I have called forth and also of the fact that there is no changing back. What has been done IS very real and I Feel the effect almost every waking moment. If I give up, I loose my life, as it would not be worth living knowing what I know now. So there really is nothing left to do but stand tall during the storms and search inside for that little spark of maleness to nurture.

I have initiated many conversations with my wife about our relationship. I feel that our old Mother-Son relationship is dead as it no longer serves any purpose except to limit our development. So now is a period of groping around as there is nothing for now to take its place.

Along with the conversations, I have initiated a period of celibacy and a request that I Not Be Mothered. I have also promised to expose any Mothering coming my way. None of this is easy but I feel it is a necessary beginning in light of the larger looming issue of the GAP.

All that was revealed to me at my visit to the Temple of Peace at times seems overwhelming and the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that if the challenge IS in front of me, then I must and can find the strength to meet it.

As I sit here I am realizing that I am Feeling again. For a long time there were no feelings. Now, so much is moving inside that I never knew was there. These feelings are not comforting or fun but yet I can still find words to Thank You for guiding me to discovering them :) .

When I do my dreaming practice, I feel a knot in the middle of my chest wanting to break free. Sometimes it makes my body shudder. Is there any advice on this?

Continuing to work on becoming more male.

Answer:

My friend, from what you have shared it is pretty obvious that you are in a very good SPACE - not comfort-able, but nonetheless good. :)

"......my life is not and cannot ever be the same. The truths that were revealed to me through you and everyone there are constantly churning inside, cutting to the core of what I imagined my life to be."

:) Welcome to LIFE, my friend! Before this you were merely EXISTING, VEGETATING, not LIVING.

"If I give up, I loose my life, as it would not be worth living knowing what I know now. So there really is nothing left to do but stand tall during the storms and search inside for that little spark of maleness to nurture."

LOL! And welcome too to the world of the male. This whole current manifestation is about the male. Do you not feel honoured to be around at this time, playing YOUR part in mapping out what it is to BE male? :) Sure the mapping out is not easy, but then as males we are the lead characters on stage, in the limelight as it were! <ebwg>

"All that was revealed to me at my visit to the Temple of Peace at times seems overwhelming and the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that if the challenge IS in front of me, then I must and can find the strength to meet it."

Yes. When the tunnel is at its darkest it is because without the dark it is impossible to see the DIM light in the far distance! Keep walking TOWARDS the light, my friend. Sooner or later you will find yourself outside the tunnel that YOU built, to stand once again upon the sun-filled playing field of life, but this time as a true MALE! :) For the male there is no greater reward than this.

"Now, so much is moving inside that I never knew was there."

Excellent! And well done! :)

With all my love and support,
Théun