“If you are truly feeling good about yourself, in the sense that you do believe you have value as a person, not in a conceited way, but in the sense of knowing from experience that you are a good male, or a good female, then you will be happy to show the rest of the world your true self. Being perfectly at peace with the way in which nature put you together, inwardly and outwardly, you will have about you an air of quiet confidence that is just as powerful as wearing a crown. Yet, that “crown” will be your own specialness, your uniqueness as an individual unit of that greater whole we term humanity.”
What helps me to experience my real value and not the reflection of my value is the question:
"What is happening THROUGH me?"
I am using this to get me deeper.
The question implies what is happening inside but there is a bit more – there is an in and out movement. I found that the more I get into this question and become sensitive to this process I am experiencing how Life shapes everything, how Life works. I am also, at the same time, experiencing how Death works in action.
As a result, my perception of value shifts - because as much as it is important how many sales I did, what technology I invented, build and so on.... I cannot attach my value on the form side and put my power outside.
Let me expand on this process a bit:
I am experiencing something akin to melancholy and I do not shy away from it but just let it pass - in this way I am feeling the forces of Death in play and how the form side is not permanent. However, at the same time I am experiencing much more something light and akin to joy as a constant companion and a friend – Life forces. I feel it in my bone marrow.
Subjectively, this experience is something like blooming and sun shining inside - Life and also something like decaying and decomposing (the way it is happening in nature) - Death. And this is rather obvious. As I am going about my day I see this everywhere. For example, many leaves are fallen and decomposing, a dry branch on the ground, dust from crumbled rocks, something old is finishing and so on. Experiencing Death it is not a bad experience actually. The important thing for me is to keep in touch both (life and death forces) together. Because Death is not a polarity of Life. Death cancels Birth and not Life, in my experience. Death decomposes and disintegrates the form.
I am sure everyone has an experience of this as it is natural, so it is just a matter of shifting the focus and recognizing it as it happens really.
Example: I have been in many life-death situations in my life. I would like to share here the gift my father gave me when he passed away.
So in the church as I was holding my mother next to the coffin where the death body of my father was and after the priest finished the ritual, people started to come to us and express their condolences. First, they go and throw some flowers in the coffin and then they come to express their condolences. And as this was happening I vividly experience how the life of my father actually touched their life. The form side of my father was not there so I was experiencing only "what was happening through/via my father" extending and touching their life.
Being in touch with Death is necessary in order to experience my value. But it is necessary also to be in touch with the forces of Life, otherwise if I focus only on Death, then I can become morose and heavy and morbid – the effect of the disintegrating forces of Death. So, when I also simultaneously keep in touch with the forces of Life then I am lightness and with quiet confidence, and I am using the forces of Death to un-cover, that is, to help sheath away old layers so that more and more of my true value to shine.
I experience my value as a quiet, still and light smile coupled with an unwavering and unshakable elusive intent.
Man of Action