'In spite of everything you have accomplished in your life you still feel there is something missing, don't you? You still feel UNWORTHY of life in some way because of that missing something. And it is this sense of unworthiness that makes you feel less than, and hence like a victim
What is that missing something? I can tell you, but until you find this for yourself in terms of HOW it manifests for YOU personally, it will not mean too much to you. That missing something in you is the ABILITY to see your OWN true value within life! You are still searching for your value out there, instead of WITHIN yourself. Consequently, deep down inside, irrespective of your successes within life, you still "feel" you have no real value!'
I was sitting with this concept of inner value last week and what it means for me. Interestingly enough the first thing that came up for me from my childhood was this phrase “value for money”.
Growing up I heard this phrase over and over again 'This is really good value for money'. 'This is not good value for money'.
So in many ways value for me became synonymous with money. 'Am I good value for money?', 'Am I a fraud?', 'Am I doing enough?', 'Am I enough?'. In my perception value = money and the less you had of it the less was your value to society.
This past week I was sorting out papers as I move on to my next add-venture and I came across all my reports I had created for a crime prevention program I had run for 16 – 20-year-old wannabe gangsters. I would hole up in a classroom with 25 of them at a time, on my own. For a full day. And the next day. For a week. I would interact with a fresh class of 25 young men each day, all day.
I had just come out of the corporate world, having set myself free from the "value for money" trap I had created for myself there. Although I was only contracted for a week at the beginning and then the end of this 3-month program, I presented a report to management highlighting all the relationship issues I was experiencing with such a project, and made recommendations to improve it. I then ran a course on relationships for the management team All for no fee, other than the two weeks contract period. Man, I gave value for money!
Weeeeell, according to my now new-found altruism! lol!
What truly struck me reading through those reports this week was what I learned about mySelf on this project. Price-less. And yet it cost nothing!
These young men had so very little in their lives by way of academic schooling or material wealth – and yet they were the ones who taught me. They taught me humility. They showed me wherein lay my value. They cared nothing for my academic achievements. They cared nothing for my wealth. They could not relate. I was giving them very little value for money. Or so I thought.
So where then did we connect?
We connected at that beautiful and most mysterious place in life when you realise, when I realise, that neither of us has to DO anything; neither of us has to BE anyone. That just our presence, and only, is what is of value.
I have value simply ... because I am.