Intelligent Co-operation, ARTICLE ON from Family Posts

  • Intelligent Co-operation, ARTICLE ON

"So. Forgiveness. What exactly does this mean? It means that not only is it IMPERATIVE for my OWN freedom that I LEARN to forgive myself, but it is ALSO imperative in terms of the freedom of those I called forth into my life so that I may learn. People in general do NOT like to acknowledge this, but unless we CAN and DO forgive ourselves, the people we called forth in our lives from whom to learn are also not free! Why? Because in not being able to forgive ourselves, or more precisely, in not being WILLING to forgive ourselves, we have still NOT learned the greatest lesson of all, namely, that because of the interrelationship, the interdependence and therefore the INTER-ACTION of life, there is NO blame and therefore also NO guilt. There is only YOU and ME, walking side by side in our journey upon life. And I learn from you, just as you learn from me.

So how do I forgive myself? By striving with EVERY fibre of my being, EVERY moment of my life, to be OBJECTIVE in my perception, so that I may be REAL, and therefore making my own continued learning as cost-effective as I possibly can. And then in doing a FULL recapitulation of my life so that I can finally see my life, and the actions of others, in its proper perspective, I also CORRECT the many misperceptions that caused everyone, including myself, so much pain and suffering. And once I do that, all sense of guilt and blame falls away, leaving nothing but a very deep sense of utter HUMILITY and a profound and unwavering love for ALL of life.”

(Extract from Toltec Legacy article 1304 - Forgiveness, meaning of)

My example this month comes from my interactions with my neighbour’s 24 year old son - Abe, whom I perceive to have the mental and emotional development of a 5 year old boy.

Initially, when Abe and his younger brother would come over requesting to use my phone to call their mother, I didn’t mind as the cost of my calls are covered within my contract, and the calls they made were mainly for their mother to call them back on their cell phones.
Then when Abe started requesting some change for the bus fair, I also didn’t mind too much initially until this started becoming a regular request.
One day I didn’t have the change available and I reacted by informing Abe that I wasn’t his local bank, and that he shouldn’t be making a habit of asking me for money.

After feeling unsettled from this interaction, I decided to shift the focus to see if there was some way in which we could learn to co-operate intelligently, whereupon I offered for Abe to wash my car once a week to which he readily agreed, coming over afterwards to inform me that he had the required materials and was ready to go.

I stepped back on his 1st attempt leaving him to his task, assuming that he would know how to wash a car LOL, and payed him when he finished.
As he was quite enthusiastic at the time, I didn’t notice until later in the day that Abe was quite efficient at moving the dirt around that was on my car, and that he did indeed have a way to go with his learning about something I had taken for granted.

I did some recapitulation, and realised that I was taking pity on Abe.
So on his 2nd attempt when he tried his quick handed rearrangement of the dirt on my car, I decided that it was time to be real with him in a constructive way trying to include Abe in the solution, taking the time to demonstrate the process, each time he came to me with unsatisfactory results, repeating the process until we achieved the results that I wanted.

What I am taking from this interaction is that there is so much more that I can learn about myself, by not assuming understanding based on previous experiences. I can also see how quickly I could go into judgement mode in the past when someone didn’t provide the results according to my expectations, and how I limited my experiences through doing this.

Courier to the South