Edge, the, living on, versus living in uncertainty from Family Posts

  • Edge, the, living on, versus living in uncertainty

From Estonia I greet you with a Happy June month – already!

Our theme for this month – “Living on the edge - Expect the unexpected“ - has been, and is, very much the theme of my life of late!

Full awareness naturally also includes anticipating the unexpected, because the warrior knows he is living in a fluid universe pervaded by the unpredictable quirks of power. Therefore, whenever a warrior has to make a decision, he will always do so taking into account the fact that he does not presume to know beforehand what the outcome of his decision will be. By accepting the unknown the warrior never falls into the trap of assuming that he does not need to be fully aware.

Having arrived in Estonia after midnight this past Saturday, one of the first things my host and I did in the early hours of Saturday morning was to pick up a yoga mat! - so that I could attend my online class later in the day and iron out all the travel kinks! This “new” yoga mat is turning out to be a very good teacher!

I am used to a fairly thin mat that enables me to balance on one leg with no problem. My new mat now is a thicker, spongier type mat that means for all the balancing postures on one leg, I am wobbling quite a lot! I have been tempted to discard it and just use the floor as a base.

Then I got to ruminating what it is teaching me:-)

It is teaching me about facing the unknown! And so what if to start with, as I embark into the unknown, my balance gets a bit wobbly!? It is all about change and the new! Something the little self resists! In the corporate world we used to call it the RC factor! Resistance to change!

This time last year I was contemplating venturing out into the world from a country that was in full on very strict lockdown. Folks looked at me as if I was crazy to even consider getting to Europe from Cape Town, S Africa, with airports closed and airplanes grounded.

I look back now a year later and can see that my underpinnings, my base, were very spongy and wobbly in-deed last May/June! I had no idea what to expect and travel rules were either being changed daily or being made up on the fly! Most of the time my balance was very wobbly.

But.... back then I decided to trust the process of life, to allow life to guide me step by step – and slowly but surely my balancing got steadier. I knew all I had to do was make plans and decisions to head me in the direction of my goal, but that at any turn, my plans could change, be cancelled, need a course correction. I let go of the outcome and arrived in Europe in one piece and only left when the EU borders started closing down once again in November as I once again “fled” Europe’s next lockdown!.

I stuck with that spongy mat, that wobbly place I was in and now one year later, the obstacles to travel have doubled, if not tripled, and notwithstanding this, I found myself making plans with Rein Lemberpuu for not one course in June in Estonia, 15 000 kms away from S Africa, but 2 courses! Plans made at a time when Europe was back/still in lockdown, and NO-ONE wanted a potential so-called “South African covid variant” visiting their shores!

This year my underpinnings are no longer spongy and wobbly. This time I checked each of the myriad steps I had to accomplish to make it to Estonia the beginning of June, a miracle in the making, my family declared! I found and booked a very rare flight out to Europe - and went into quarantine on arrival, en route to Estonia. With every stop on the way I have had to do one PCR test after another, needed to work out if I could get in, then out and then into different countries, and all with their own very fluid travel rules and living restrictions.

Because I had let go of the outcome from the outset, rather than feeling exhausted at every bureaucratic turn, I have had a lot of fun! Even when my latest PCR test result arrived per email and the password to open it went to a friend's phone - and I couldn’t make contact with her for more than 3 hours! A part of me was like a flapping, clucking Audrey chicken Lol! I had fun observing Audrey doing her worry dance until the result on that piece of paper revealed itself as negative! As the flapping started after 10 minutes or so, I realised in that moment that I had taken the result for granted. A wake-up call to let go of any outcome! ;-)

My yoga mat has also drawn my attention to the decision to facilitate our very first online retreat! I started out with a very spongy and wobbly idea of the concept – I mean how on earth can one have a retreat when no-one is physically present!? As each day got closer to the retreat, I was reminded again and again to let go of the outcome – and I am so glad I did!

Our maiden online retreat surpassed anything I was able to imagine on my wobbly mat back then! I set my intent not to take myself too seriously with managing the online technical tools for facilitators and landed up having fun the whole weekend, techie glitches and all! A most uplifting, and what surprised me, an INTIMATE experience, testament to the quality of those intrepid warriors who joined us that weekend.:-)


Happy Summer to those in the Northern Hemisphere and Happy Winter to my friends in the South:-)

Have fun this month!

Southerly Stalker